EACH SCRIPT IS SENT TO YOU AS A WORD DOCUMENT. YOU CAN ALTER IT ANY WAY YOU WISH. CHANGE CHARACTERS, ADD CHARACTERS, ALTER JOKES, CHANGE THE NAMES OF LOCAL TOWNS, ADD LOCAL PERSONALITIES... OR JUST PRINT IT AND START REHEARSING!
MUSIC 1 – DRUM ROLL
Fairy – Oh, I’m glad that’s stopped. I had this terrible noise in my head. It's been ages since we've had a bang like that. I'm just not used to it.
MUSIC 2 – FAIRY UNDERSCORE
Hello everybody. Hello Mums and Dads! Hello Boys and Girls! How are you all? Alright? Sorry I’m late I’ve got a new Bon Jovi sat nav. It only got me half way there. I am Fairy Bow Bells and I’m here to welcome you to YOUR TOWN'S biggest and best panto!
DANCER ENTERS WITH A NOTE
Messenger 1 - Fairy Bow Bells! Can I have a word please? I have an important message for you.
Fairy – One minute please. Do excuse me.
FAIRY READS THE NOTE THEN DANCER QUICKLY EXITS.
It’s YOUR TOWN's only panto ….to welcome you to YOUR TOWN’s very own panto! Snow White and Aladdin’s Beast!
DIFFERENT DANCER RETURNS WITH ANOTHER NOTE.
Messenger 2 - Fairy Bow Bells! Sorry to trouble you. There’s another message for you.
Fairy – More post! I normally only get bills! I can see the director’s giving you more to do this year. He is a star!
FAIRY READS THE NOTE THEN DANCER EXITS.
“You’ve got the name of the show wrong.” It’s….ah yes! Welcome to Dick Whittington and his Dog
OFFSTAGE - Cat!
Fairy – Cat! Are you ready for a fun packed adventure? You’ve got your part to play! Don’t forget to boo the baddies! And to cheer the hero! And if anyone says…oh yes I am…you have to say oh no you’re not! And if anyone says Oh yes I do! You have to say Oh no you don’t you’ll get the hang of it. Oh yes you will……(???)
Hang on, we haven’t started yet.
MUSIC 3 - QUEEN RAT ENTERS INTO EVIL UNDERSCORE
QUEEN RAT ENTERS
Queen Rat - Oh who are you? Now clear the stage.
For I am here, I'm all the rage!
I am Queen Rat, the world is mine!
Fairy - It's polite to greet. "Hello" is fine.
Queen Rat - Hello? I’M HERE JUST WATCH ME SCOWL!
Fairy – An ugly mug. It’s Simon Cowell!
I am the Fairy of this tale
My magic's great! I never fail.
Queen Rat - A fairy? Huh! Another queen.
This city's full of those, I've seen.
Fairy - I'm here to make sure Dick's ok.
To wish him on his merry way!
Queen Rat - And who is this boy Dick you say?
Fairy - Why he's the hero of today!
He'll have a happy ending too!
Queen Rat - And let me guess that's thanks to you.
QUEEN RAT IS STARING AT THE FAIRY.
Fairy - I can't take all the credit there.
I help a bit, it's rude to stare!
Queen Rat - So now I know who I must beat!
My rival on this London street!
Fairy - Leave well alone. Don't touch the boy! His story now begins.
Queen Rat - Don't tell me, a Queen, what to do. We soon will see who wins!
QUEEN RAT EXITS LAUGHING.
Fairy - Oh dear! She's not very happy is she? It’s time to start! Let’s meet Dick! He’s on the road to Birmingham.
OFFSTAGE – London.
Fairy - London …off to seek his fortune.
ANOTHER DANCER ENTERS
Messenger 3 - Fairy Bow Bells! I have another message for you.
Fairy - Oh another note! The Post Office are working overtime today. “You’re fired. Don’t forget to leave the wand.” Oh.
DANCER EXITS
I am the Fairy and I think it’s time…. to do my job and talk in rhyme!
One handsome hero, a cat in tow…. will go to London, but that you know!
He’ll lose his job coz life’s not fair! …..Then by the end be London’s Mayor.
So to the job centre I must go! ….While you sit back and watch the show!
MUSIC 4 – DICK ENTERS
FAIRY EXITS. DICK WHITTINGTON ENTERS
Dick – Hello everyone. I didn’t see you all there. Are you alright? I said… are you alright? My name is Richard Whittington I’m the hero of this story! My friends call me Dick! I’m on my way to London to make my fortune. Apparently, according to my mother the streets are paved with gold! Can you imagine that? All the gold in the world!
Hey I’ve got a great idea…..do you want to be my friends? And the rest of you? Every time I come on I’ll shout out HELLO EVERYBODY! And you shout out IT’S OUR HERO DICK! Shall we have a practice?
HE MOVES TO THE SIDE OF THE STAGE THEN RE-ENTERS
Hello everybody! AUDIENCE REACTION. Three of you that’s brilliant! Let’s try again. Hello everybody! AUDIENCE REACTION That’s brilliant! When I’m rich, I’m going to buy a big house! Wonderful new clothes! And I think I’ll get myself a pet! Yes, I’ll get a dog!
Fluffy – Miaow.
Dick – No don’t be silly. I said a dog.
Fluffy – Miaow.
Dick – Dogs don’t go miaow! Cats do!
Fluffy – Miaow.
Dick – Oh hello. What’s your name?
Fluffy – Miaow.
Dick – Fluffy? (TO THE AUDIENCE) Yes, I can talk to cats. That happens in panto.
Fluffy – Miaow. Miaow.
Dick – You’re on your way to London?
Fluffy – Miaow. Miaow. Miaow.
Dick – You haven’t got any friends?
MUSIC 5 – ONE FINE DAY (ONE SHORT DAY FROM WICKED)
Fluffy – Miaow.
Dick – Well Fluffy! I’m on my way to London.
Fluffy – Miaow?
Dick – And I don’t have any friends either.
Fluffy – Miaow?
Dick – Are you thinking what I’m thinking? (FLUFFIE NODS HER HEAD) Alright Fluff! We’ll go to London together!
Fluffy – Miaow.
Dick – Come on! Let’s go!
DANCERS ENTER 0.22 SING ON 0.28
CHORUS
Cast – 1. One fine day in the beautiful city. 2. There's something exquisite
One fine day full of so much to do You'll want to visit
Every way that you look in the city Before the day's through
Dick – 3. There are buildings tall as Cedar trees!
Cast - Dress salons! Libraries! Palaces! Museums! A hundred strong!
There are wonders like you've never seen
It's all so grand and so serene!
Dick – I think I've found the place where I belong! 1.03
Cast - I want to be in the big city
Dick - And you’ll be sure I’m here today
To make my life and make my way
Cast – So come along to wander and enjoy.
Fluffy – Miaow! 1.18
REPEAT CHORUS 1.35
Fairy – Hello Dick Whittington!
Dick – Look everyone! My very own Fairy!
Fairy – I got my job back! 1.46
Fairy/Cast - Where’s the place you want to be?
Dick – Um? Here?
Fairy - Come have fun with folk like me!
Dick – I just know I will! 1.58
Cast - Everything you want to be
And every place you want to see 2.10
One fine day in the beautiful city
One fine day full of wonder
Every way that you look in the city
Dick - There's something exquisite
Cast - Something exquisite
Dick - I'll want to visit
Cast - You'll want to visit
Dick - All with you!
Fluffy – Miaow! 2.41
Dick – Come on my friend! Are you ready for an adventure?
Fluffy – Miaow!
Dick – Yes, so am I 2.54
Fairy – Good luck to you both!
Cast – One….. wonderful
_____ - Welcome to London!
Cast – Day!
MUSIC 6 – FITZWARREN & ALICE ENTER
ALDERMAN FITZWARREN AND HIS DAUGHTER ALICE ENTER DOING THE CONGA.
Fitzwarren – I love that music it’s so cheesy! Good Morning everybody. Please let me introduce myself. My name is Alderman Fitzwarren. And this is my lovely “bricks and mortar” Alice.
Alice – Daddy! Not everyone knows what you mean. “Bricks & Mortar” is Cockney rhyming slang. They don’t know that it means "daughter."
Fitzwarren – They don’t?
Alice – No! They don’t.
Fitzwarren - They’ll soon learn! Look, I am the owner of that lovely little lollipop.
Alice – That means “Shop.” Lollipop….Shop.
Fitzwarren – In the shop is lots of knobbly knees.
Alice – He means “cheese.”
Fitzwarren – That’s what I said. In our lollipop, we sell lots of knobbly knees to put on your Uncle Fred.
SIGNALS TO THE AUDIENCE TO ANSWER
Fitzwarren – That’s right! Bread!
MRS FITZWARREN ENTERS
Mrs Fitzwarren – Alderman Fitzwarren.
Fitzwarren – Ah Mrs Fitzwarren. Have you unpacked that delivery of cheese?
Mrs Fitzwarren – No. It hasn’t arrived.
Fitzwarren – It hasn’t arrived?
Mrs Fitzwarren – The lorry overturned on the motorway. De brie was everywhere. (debris)
Alice – What are we going to do Daddy? No stock in the shop!
END OF EXCERPT